Tuesday, April 15, 2014

A Moment to Ramble

This is the face of a child that wants you to think he's never in trouble. I'm pretty sure Jason took this picture right after the innocent one tried flushing my toothbrush down the toilet.
Okay. So I'm pretty certain he wasn't trying to flush my toothbrush down the toilet, but he does unroll all of the toilet paper when he's in the restroom and that's the business of a trouble maker.
I made a tent for the little innocent one the other day. 
Let me tell you something. If the Israelite's had to use chairs to make tents, I imagine they would have never lasted as a nation. Carrying around chairs through the dessert and then the need to place them just so, in order to have the appropriate distance for the pink blanket to hang at the correct level. I'm not saying if I was an Israelite building a tent with a chair that I would have defected or anything. But I might've asked God if I could have poles. Or maybe an inflatable tent. Fully furnished.
Once the tent was assembled and the blanket was hanging at the level needed for Evan to be able to sit in the bean bag and watch the movie we were all set. His movie of choice has been "Mee-mo". a.k.a "Finding Nemo". As a matter of fact, he's been asking to watch/watching that movie so frequently recently that today I pulled a fast one on him and snuck in the movie "Cars" while we sat and waited on Dawson in the carpool line at school. He wasn't nearly as interested in that movie so my sneakiness back fired. But at least I didn't have to find Nemo.

When Dawson was Evan's age, he used to be terrified of the tractor tipping scene in the Cars movie. I had to say that in order to have a proper transition from speaking primarily about Evan to Dawson. 
And this is Dawson building something with Evan's Duplo Lego's. It must be a plane but I'm too distracted by the mess on the floor in Evan's room to take the time to investigate the Lego concoction.
A few days ago, I decided to take some selfies with the boys. When I say boys, that actually ends up meaning only Dawson because Evan wouldn't sit still long enough and Jason was too busy flipping through songs on the stereo system much like you do with a remote and a t.v.. Actually, that drives me crazy because he won't ever allow a song to play through in it's entirety. He starts the song, listens to the first 2 minutes and then decides to move on to the next song. I'd call that CD ADD.
Back to the selifies.
I'd say my teeth could use a little whitening. I'm not sure who taught Dawson bunny ears, but enjoyed the implementation of them.
The above picture makes my freckles seem invisible. I wonder how I accomplished that. I didn't donate them like I plan to someday.

Friday, March 21, 2014

Bringing Up Boys

I have found that I'm a very.boring.mom. I've been stressing out about my boringness on a rather steep incline but it's compounded when I see things posted on FaceBook by mom's that are awesome. Stupid awesome moms. Lower the standard for the rest of us. Sheesh.
So I was going back through pictures to find anything that might give me a glimmer of hope that I have some fun in me. But I didn't find anything. So I'm posting other pictures instead. Sorry to disappoint. 
Actually, to prove my point, here's a picture of Evan who managed to snag the mouse that belongs to the $20 dollar Discovery laptop that Dawson got for Christmas one year. He grabbed his "Curly Finds a Home" book and used it for a mouse pad. Just like he sees his mom do on a daily basis for work. 
I guess I am fun after all.
Then there's the time I was too busy to play so he grabs all of the pots and pans from the cabinet and then ignores them and eats pencil lead instead. Disclaimer: I took the pencil away before any lead could be consumed. 

This one was Jason's idea. We bought Evan a "Market Trolley" yes, that's what the little shopping cart is officially called if you purchase one sold at Ross -why don't they make them in blue? I see litigation over that in my future. Evan prefers sitting in it to watch movies with Dawson rather than pushing it around the house to pretend he's shopping. I'd rather sit in a shopping cart watching a movie than go shopping too. I'm in that -.0002% of girls that hate to shop.
Jason is a great, fun dad though. He taught the boys how to play poker.

You've got to know when to hold 'em. Know when to fold 'em. Know when to walk away. Know when to run. I cropped out the part of the picture where Jason's belly was hanging out of his jacket. You're welcome.
Jason makes Dawson look like he has pop-eye arms using the fish-eye lens of our camera. Kinda creepy actually.
You know who has personality in our family is Dawson. One time I wasn't doing a very good job of keeping an eye on Evan. I knew he was in Dawson's room playing so I let him be. Only, he was in Dawson's room playing by himself so I shouldn't have let him be. After about 15 minutes of time passed by, Dawson wanted something from his room and began yelling "Mommeeeee" in a squeaky upset voice. I told him I'd be there in a minute. After several minutes, I made my way to his room to find out Evan had been running back and forth from the bathroom to Dawson's room with toilet paper and toilet paper squares, depositing them like confetti on the floor. 

Dawson made the best of that situation:
I found a picture of him I took around Christmas time after he had taken the heating pads out of the kitchen towel drawer and put them on his feet and told me he was ice skating.

Evan is also a goof ball, but I can't get many pictures of him acting that way to use as supporting evidence. We got Dawson's old spider-man back pack out of his closet and put it on Evan to wear. I'm convinced he felt he had been transformed into a GQ model.
Just a few days ago I was getting dressed and he made himself at home in my dresser drawer with a notebook and a pencil. The picture I got of him makes it seem as though I'm invading his private and personal realm of space where he goes to ponder and write out his feelings on life. He must not realize that's the drawer where I keep my sweaty workout t-shirts. 
Yesterday I spent about an hour perusing Pinterest trying to find anything that would make me fun. "Busy Bags, Crafts for Kids, How to Make Your Kids Think You're Fun without Putting Forth Much Effort". I bookmarked a few things hoping it would add a little zest to our spring break while Dawson is home next week. 
Then I came across this picture:
As long as they're happy, I'm happy.

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Exercise: Motivation and Skill

Do you lack the motivation to exercise? 
Join the club. No, literally. I'm sure there's a club that you can join, you just have to find it. I can't help you there, because I'm too lazy to look.

I actually enjoy exercising. I also enjoy eating but that's a whole other issue that you can see being discussed here

Please consider the following suggestions as motivation to exercise:

  1. The before and after pictures. Of course, you can always photoshop yourself and bypass the exercise. So. Forget number one. We'll go on.
  2. More energy. Years down the road after you've gotten used to exercising. Because when you're not used to exercise, you'll be tired when you're done. Otherwise my advice is to drink 3 cups of espresso in rapid succession for immediate energy boost gratification. You'll crash in an hour and crave junk food. Just fyi. Then you'll need to exercise to work off the junk food.
  3. Skinny jeans. NO. I hate skinny jeans and they do not compliment any body type. Please don't use them for motivation to exercise. And don't wear them. And don't buy them. And don't look at them. 
  4. (insert your motivation to exercise here by leaving a comment because I like comments and I'll do anything to get them.)
I have in my possession exercise DVDs of all variations. Mostly "The Firm" videos. Because I thought they would make me firm. My knee cap has gone from a size 2 1/2 to a size 2. I can nearly wear shorts this summer now. And really, I'm surprised "People Magazine" hasn't contacted me for their "1/2 their size" segment. With my knee cap featured with the wind blowing the hairs on it. 
 And I'll bet you're all wondering how I manage to exercise often and keep my knee caps in such great shape.
I'm about to tell you.

First, I don my perpetually sweaty smelly workout clothes. These are the same clothes I wear to WalMart so I practically feel like I'm exercising while I'm at WalMart, and technically I think I really am because the place is so huge that most mall walkers have quit going to the mall to walk around there instead. I just made that part up about mall walkers but I wouldn't be surprised. 

Next, I deceive myself. I put away all thoughts of my dumpy pathetic body doing the cardio moves and replace that image to pretend I have the body of Allison Davis who led the workout I did today. She's skinny and all, but she has a twang, so I also have to envision that she's using a Midwest accent. If I'm fully engaged in the exercise however, I talk over her in a British accent and smile the entire time.

I wonder how fitness instructors are able to smile and talk through the entire workout.

Finally, I encourage myself. I say:  "Self, just finish this, because as soon as you're finished you can have CHOCOLATE". Chocolate is a good motivator. 

If your biggest concern with exercise is skill, do a butt clench. Right now. There. See! You just exercised! Now you can stop fearing and start butt clenching your way to healthier you. 

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

The Meme of 2008

Random FYI Meme

Back in the year of 2008 in the month of August to be exact, I was tagged in another friends blog for this Random FYI Meme. I didn't know I was tagged so I never did it. Nor did I know what a Meme was or how to pronounce it. 
It's never too late.

Rules Once Tagged:

1) Link to the person who tagged you.
2) Post the rules on your blog (copy and paste 1-6).
3) Write 6 random things about yourself (see below).
4) Tag 6 people at the end of your post and link to them.
5) Let each person know they have been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6) Let the tagger (who tagged you) know when your post is up.

Random FYI:
I was voted "Most Generous" in high school. I'm pretty sure that was a mistake and should have gone to Oprah but she wasn't in my graduating class. Or my high school.
  1. I make the bed every morning. Unless I'm too lazy and then I don't make the bed until just before it's time to get into bed because I don't like going to bed if the bed isn't made.
  2.  Jason was listed in the "Who's Who of America's High School Students" and his mom bought the book. Not that it's a scam or anything.
  3. Sometimes Often I throw away papers and items that Dawson brings home from school because I'm not a hoarder and I'm anti-clutter and this has led to me digging through the trash to find said item. Like this morning. When I had to dig through the trash full of onions because I made home made French Onion soup yesterday, and on the way to drop Dawson off at school this morning he jabbered on about this candle he made on Pioneer Day last week and could we burn it and he would show me how. I told him of course we could. And now I must shower 27 times to rid myself of onion trash.
  4. I didn't tell Jason that I had to dig through the trash this morning to get Dawson's Pioneer Day candle.
  5. I don't like milk. Or Kool-Aid. Though I have used Kool-Aid to dye my hair.

Those I am tagging:
1. Felicia Louise. Start a blog now.
2. Shadow Lynn. Start a blog now.
3. Holly: Life, Love & Laughter
4. The Bigelow Blog
5. Carrie: Life, Love & All Things Jazz
6. Kelsey: The Wind in My Sails because I forgot that she has a blog and she needs to do it

Friday, February 28, 2014

Another Birthday: The Saga Continues

We had Evan's birthday party at our house on Sunday- the day after Dawson's party.
I don't highly recommend having 2 parties back to back like that. Unless you are being paid.
Evan won't be getting parties at Brunswick Zone until he's 8. Unless he does a fund raiser. So he was stuck at home without even as much as a theme for his party. Until I was struck with a moment of genius 2 hours before the party was to commence. We bought him a Lightning McQueen car to ride around in our cul-de-sac so that became his theme. See:
And I didn't even have to pay for any of the theme related items because they came straight from Dawson's toybox. You might recognize the balloons.
Even though I had to use the confetti cake mix to make Evan's cupcakes I didn't let it get me down. I made half of them with raspberry filling and I made homemade butter cream icing to top them off. We shoved the icing in a plastic baggie and Jason frosted them and then I had him put sprinkles on because I'm talented like that. I should probably own my own bakery or something. Emphasis on the or something.
Aunt Nessa and Uncle Steve brought over more balloons and isn't this picture cute, with Mia and her arm around Evan?!
 When it was time for us to sing Happy Birthday and have Evan blow out his candles he started on the blowing a bit too early..
 If you look closely, you can see the smoke.
 So I asked Jason to light the candles again and quickly shove the cupcake in front of Evan again. He has to have a proper birthday.
 I was fearful he was only going to eat the sprinkles on top of the cupcake.
 So I shoved a whole cupcake in my mouth at once to set a good example of how to eat it.
 Then it was time to open presents. We put this one in front of him and smiled and gently tapped it with his finger. What the heck kind of kid does that? So I ripped a corner for him and he was fine.
 This is the Lightning McQueen car I was referring to. We charged it the night before so that he could ride it when he got it. Thankfully we got this picture of him showing he was happy with it when he first got it, because when he rides it outside, it's very serious business.
 I'm also thankful he was feeling better in time for his party because a 2 year old should be able to enjoy a cupcake without a space mask on.
Happy 2 Years Mr. Evan. We ♥ You

Thursday, February 27, 2014

A Birthday Saga

Parents are spending hundreds of dollars on birthday parties for their children.
I would rather use that money to get my hair done.
There is a place near us called Brunswick Zone which has bowling, lazer tag and an arcade. It costs $179 dollars to have a birthday party there for up to 10 people. I don't even know 10 people. Dawson does, but unless he's having a fund raiser to have a birthday party at Brunswick Zone, hey. That's a great idea! We should have had Dawson have a fund raiser to have his birthday party at Brunswick Zone! I'll jot that down for next year.
Dawson has had several buddies who have had their birthday parties at Brunswick Zone. Last year, one of his buddies had his party there AND his parents bought him a Kindle Fire for his present! I told Dawson to keep that friend so that he could get a Kindle Fire for his present when it rolled around but that never happened. The cheapwads.
Yes. Dawson got to have his birthday party on Saturday at Brunswick Zone.
We had a coupon!
He got to have 2 hours of bowling, shoe rental and a pitcher of pop for up to 6 people 
for $39.99!
We are parent's of the year decade.
Dawson needs to work on his form. Or maybe learn how to hold a bowling ball.
 He had 3 buddies from school who said they could come to his party, but one didn't make it because his mom got the times mixed up. This meant I got to have 3 cups of pop instead of 2.
I wish they would make a bowling ball that is lighter than 7 pounds. How can I possibly ever hope to get a strike unless they make a 3 pound ball? Evan was a natural.
Look at the spin on his ball!
I believe Evan knocked down one ball, after a half hour of waiting for the ball to near the pins.
I find everything about wearing used bowling shoes to be deeply disturbing. 
At the one hour mark, we took a break for cake and drinks.
 Dawson has a winning personality, doesn't he?
 I made the birthday cake and Jason decorated it.
Happy Birthday Dawoon! 
 I purchased a vanilla confetti cake mix for Dawson. But he informed the night before his party that he didn't want a confetti cake he wanted a chocolate cake. This mean that I had to use the confetti cake to make Evan's cupcakes for his party. Oh the drama!

Do you see these balloons? Let me tell you about these balloons. 
The morning of Dawson's party we remembered that we wanted to get helium balloons. Bonus, we were having Evan's birthday party the next day on Sunday so we could reuse said balloons. We purchased the 3 balloons and got to Brunswick. Where it was windy.
Dawson opened his door without thinking and the balloons flew away. Dawson cried. And this was mere minutes before his party was to commence. So Jason called his parents who said they would pick up balloons on their way to the party. And the balloons they purchased were 3 dollars cheaper. It's a government conspiracy.
Just as the boys were finishing their cake and pop, the staff turned off the main lights, turned on the disco lights, and the boys got their second wind with cosmic bowling.
 Soon it was time for presents.
 Dawson's a huge fan of the diary of a wimpy kid series. That series encourages my belief that I could write books.
After the party we took Dawson out for lunch and then to go see "The Lego Movie" where we met up with his buddy that didn't make it to the party. This meant I had to share my movie theater candy but I was okay with that because it meant Jason had to share his hot tamales with me.