Wednesday, February 3, 2016

If You're Happy and You Know It

There's something about cabin fever that makes you want to either 
A.) Go Crazy. or  B.) Blog.
I tried to go crazy but the blog won out.
That's also the reason I went to great lengths today to update my blog theme to Valentine's Day in honor of February.

I don't like being cold (which is why I'm desperately trying to win the Florida home from HGTV) but desperate times call for desperate measures. And desperate measures means I have to take my boys outside. In the snow. If I wasn't so incredibly rational, I'd believe that winter doesn't like me at all. I mean, our house grew fangs people.
But a hater's gonna hate, you know?
I've taken the boys out sledding 2 days in a row. This means that I have to pull Evan in the sled up the hill beside our house because he is suddenly stricken with all manner of ailments and can't walk. "I'm tired, my legs hurt, I'm hungry". So I got the great idea to get Dawson to do it.
There's something so cute about a child being all bundled up. In a snowsuit. Not like in a straight jacket or something.
Dawson dug his first snow tunnel. I invited all of our woodland creatures to come and burrow in it.
I snapped this slightly sensational picture of Dawson getting some air when he hit his ramp while sledding.
Nothing compared to the amazingness of this shot I got of Evan after his ramp moment.
And... then I snapped this one of Evan sliding down the hill on his butt after he got tired of waiting on Dawson to carry the sled back up the hill.
It was then that the thought occurred to me that I should get a video of Dawson hitting the ramp, like Jason did in slow motion.
So I set up camp, told Dawson I was ready and hit "time lapse"
Yeah. Time lapse is NOT slow motion in case you were wondering. 
That little fact didn't click until I took this second video of Evan.
So I used the YouTube enhancement feature and slowed it down. 1 second to 4!
You're welcome.

I'm not a creative or crafty person, which is why the boys tend to fight on a consistent basis when they are marooned indoors. Most moms would be all "Hey I know! Let's make glow in the dark Gak! Or playdough! Or a life sized model of a roller coaster that really works!" 
Me... I'm like "go play". Typically this results in all manner of evil. Nothing can be shared, no amount of candy will please, and Evan can't master the Wii remote to Dawson's approval. Sometimes I'll have to think of something on the fly. Like a good joke.
Did you know you can make hundreds of knock knock jokes by using the "interrupting __" feature? I know because Evan has made me tell him knock knock jokes every day since the first time I established the game in his presence. I said: 
Me: Evan, knock knock
Evan: blank stare
Me: say who's there
Evan: who's there
Me: Interrupting cow
Evan: blank stare
Me: say interrupting cow who
Evan: interru--
Me: Moo
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! said Evan.
Evan: Let's do it again.
And then. I had to come up with 9 million noises to keep the joke alive. I've inserted (in no certain order: goat, sheep, cat, chicken, duck, horse, door bell, car horn, toilet, train, and then my brain just shut down. I literally couldn't focus long enough to think of any other item in this world that makes noise. If you can think of any don't tell me. I've got to wean him off this joke like I need weaned off chocolate. Even though that one won't be attempted.
*Speaking of Evan*
Don't look at my face.
That's the exclamation Evan has been making if I'm looking at him and he's either A.) in trouble, or B.) in his car seat and angry at me about something such as not handing him a toy. The spin off of this is the night several weeks ago that a friend of ours was babysitting and when we came to pick up the boys she told me "Evan walked over to our refrigerator and looked inside. When I went to check on him to see if I could help he said "Please don't watch me'".
I think he knows better than to use those fight'n words when he's trapped inside with nowhere to run to baby, nowhere to hide.
I'll leave you with this little gem:

Sunday, January 31, 2016

2011: A Year in Review

I'm troubled that the year 2011 was a complete blog failure.
If you'll take a moment to casually glance (not gawk! glance) at the archives section on the right side bar you will see that the year 2011 is completely missing.
Missing!
Did no one care to put out an APB on that missing blog year?! Also, I would like to know what the points are in the all points bulletin.
So, I've decided to blog it. 
5 years late is not too late in my opinion. I mean, some reasonably important events happened in our lives. 
To begin,
In February Dawson celebrated his 5th birthday:
Of course this was back in the day when Jason and I exerted all of our creative energy to promote an amazing birthday party. We had this one at the church. We used black trash bags to create a road from the front doors into the fellowship hall. We even used cones people.
 The tables were decorated accordingly. How was I never asked to be a party planner? If you ever want a cars theme for your wedding. I'm.your.girl.
 Dawson was properly impressed.

 I was plumb tired. Do get plumbs get tired? Where did we come up with that phrase? 
In April we taught Dawson to ride a bike. (are you secretly gleeful that I've skipped a few months to spare you the torment of a 10 hour blog post? I'm there for you! This one will only be 9.75 hours.)
In May I celebrated Mother's Day (we know how this day has gone for me in the past)
And Dawson gave Little League his first shot.

In June we made our first visit to Steamboat Springs and on that trip we made a hiking trip to Maroon bells, one of the most photographed places in Colorado.
We've always gone to ski towns during mud season because it's cheap and then we have the whole place to ourselves. If you're a cheap introvert, this is the way to travel. 
There are plenty of great hikes in Steamboat:
 We went to Strawberry Park Hot Springs and I burnt my toe on this spring because I thought it would be absolutely normal to touch it. It was only a million degrees.


 It was on our way home that we made the stop to hike Maroon Bells. Absolutely gorgeous.


 They don't look maroon to me. But I'll let that pass without calling our local Ranger department to complain.


 Marmots are one of my favorite animals. Mostly because I like the word marmot. So how could I resist a picture of this sign?
Finally, it was the month of June that we discovered I was pregnant.

No one is disturbed that you looked at a picture of an apparatus that I peed on, correct?
August came around and we did a little camping trip to Fun Valley. A camping resort for Texans that are 65 and older and who love to square dance. 

Dawson loves to fish. Just don't annoy him by taking his picture while he concentrates.
 
 Put-Put is another family adventure that is free with the cost of camping. Oooh!
If you just joined little league you'll learn much faster that swinging your club like a baseball bat is the way to win. Or knock out a car window.
 When you're surrounded by citizens 65 and up who spend their time taking their poodles for a ride in a golf cart around the campground, you run out things to keep you entertained. Therefore, this results:
August brought the pregnancy announcement on Facebook:
And... it was in August that Dawson began kindergarten. First day of school!
September brought our first attendance at an Air Force game
And Dawson was finally able to fit into one of Jason's old suits:
I encouraged him to pose as James Bond.
 October rolled around and would you believe I was finally sporting my first noticeable belly bump, brought to you by the kind people that work for my sister and brother-in-law who work for FLW (hence the reason Dawson and I are sitting in a fishing boat simulator in the parking lot of Walmart).
In November I had an ultrasound and found out I was having a boy:
I also invited the world to participate in naming our baby. I wouldn't necessarily recommend that.
If you could all provide a massive drumroll. I've come to December.
My 8 month pregnancy picture. I should have chosen vertical stripes. For slimming effect.
 My dad came for his first visit.
Dawson made his stage debut in the Christmas play at our church:
Not to be mistaken with Ralphie from Christmas story.

 Finally, we celebrated Christmas (I appear as the goodyear blimp)

Ahhh. Thank you 2011, for embracing my OCD tendencies and allowing me the opportunity to bring you to life in blog form.